She has failed at life. I hope authorities show up at her door.



Toy lightsaber turns out to be real. [video]

(Source: trumpetnoises)



me every time there is a dog regardless of the situation (via spockular)


have you seen my sex tape



•cupcake• em We Heart It.



Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.


if u ask me to go to the park and just swing on swings with u there is 98% chance i will say yes and swing for 5 hours do not test me


im so miserable but i laugh at everything








watch your fav disney movies :’D (will be redirected after 10-15 seconds)

1937 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves1940 - Fantasia1940 - Pinocchio 1941 - Dumbo1941 - The Reluctant Dragon1942 - Bambi 1942 - Saludos Amigos 1943 - Victory Through Air Power 1945 - The Three Caballeros 1946 - Make Mine Music 1946 - Song of the South1947 - Fun and Fancy Free1948 - Melody Time1949 - The Adventures Of Ichabod and Mr. Toad1950 - Cinderella 1951 - Alice in Wonderland 1953 - Peter Pan 1954 - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea 1955 - Lady and the Tramp 1957 - Old Yeller 1959 - Darby O’Gill and the Little People 1959 - Sleeping Beauty 1960 - Swiss Family Robinson 1961 - 101 Dalmatians 1963 - The Sword in the Stone 1964 - Mary Poppins 1965 - That Darn Cat 1967 - The Jungle Book1968 - The Love Bug 1970 - The Aristocats 1971 - Bedknobs and Broomsticks 1971 - The Million Dollar Duck 1973 - Robin Hood1974 - Herbie Rides Again 1977 - Pete’s Dragon 1977 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh1977 - The Rescuers1981 - The Fox and the Hound1982 - A Disney Christmas Gift 1985 - The Black Cauldron1986 - The Great Mouse Detective 1988 - Oliver & Company 1988 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit 1989 - The Little Mermaid 1990 - Ducktales The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp 1990 - The Rescuers Down Under 1991 - Beauty and the Beast1993 - The Nightmare Before Christmas1994 - Aladdin -The Return of Jafar 1994 - Aladdin1994 - The Lion King 1995 - A Goofy Movie1995 - Pocahontas 1995 - Toy Story1996 - Aladdin and the King of Thieves 1996 - James and the Giant Peach 1996 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame 1997 - Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas1997 - Hercules 1997 - Winnie The Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure 1998 - A Bug’s Life1998 - Belle’s Magical World1998 - Mulan1998 - Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World1998 - The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride1999 - Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas1999 - Tarzan 1999 - Toy Story 21999 - Winnie The Pooh-Seasons of Giving2000 - An Extremely Goofy Movie 2000 - Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, The Adventure Begins2000 - Dinosaur 2000 - Fantasia 20002000 - The Emperor’s New Groove2000 - The Little Mermaid 2-Return to the Sea 2000 - The Tigger Movie2001 - Atlantis The Lost Empire2001 - Lady And The Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure2001 - Mickey’s Magical Christmas-Snowed In at the House of Mouse 2001 - Monsters, Inc. 2002 - Cinderella II - Dreams Come True2002 - Lilo And Stitch 2002 - Mickey’s House of Mouse - The Villains2002 - Return to Never Land2002 - Tarzan & Jane2002 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame II2002 - Treasure Planet2002 - Winnie the Pooh-A Very Merry Pooh Year 2003 - 101 Dalmatians 2 - Patch’s London Adventure 2003 - Atlantis 2 Milo’s Return 2003 - Brother Bear 2003 - Finding Nemo 2003 - Kim Possible - A Stitch In Time2003 - Piglet’s Big Movie 2003 - Stitch! The Movie 2003 - The Jungle Book 2 2004 - Home On The Range2004 - Kim Possible - The Villain Files 2004 - Mickey Donald Goofy-The Three Musketeers 2004 - Mickeys Twice Upon a Christmas 2004 - The Incredibles 2004 - The Lion King 1-1.5 - Hakuna Matata2004 - Winnie the Pooh - Springtime With Roo2005 - Chicken Little2005 - Disney’s Christmas Favourites2005 - Kim Possible - So The Drama2005 - Kronk’s New Groove2005 - Lilo and Stitch 2 - Stitch has a Glitch 2005 - Pooh’s Heffalump Movie 2005 - Tarzan II 2006 - Bambi II 2006 - Brother Bear 2 2006 - Cars 2006 - Leroy & Stitch2006 - The Fox and the Hound 2 2007 - Cinderella III - A Twist in Time2007 - Disney Princess Enchanted Tales - Follow Your Dreams2007 - Enchanted 2007 - Meet The Robinsons 2008 - Bolt 2008 - The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning 2008 - Tinker Bell 2008 - Wall-E 

did i just die and go to heaven?

for anon.

im sure ill need this sooner or later

all my favorite old movies! hopefully they’ll get 2009-2012 soon :’)

brings back memories :)



If Girls Hit On Guys Like Guys Hit On Girls - Video